Tumblr Confessions

Reading through the confessions, I am truly saddened by the amount of you that are struggling with a number of different issues in your lives.

I know that it is very hard to look forward when you are in the deepest, darkest grips of problems or issues or depression but please BELIEVE me when I say you WILL GET THROUGH THIS.

You are worth everything.
You are important.
You are loved.
Your life is the MOST valuable thing.
Please do not put it in jeopardy.

If you are currently struggling, please click on the 'Here to Help' tab below. I have added a number of helplines and websites.

Please do not hurt yourself or others.

I don’t know if I have depression because I’m too scared to ask my parents if I can see a professional and I’m dealing with it if I do have, but sometimes I feel like I want depression. When my possible depression spikes (is that the word?), I want nothing but for it to end, but when it isn’t acting up, I feel like I want it to happen. I think it might be because sometimes I feel uncaring and emotionless and the sadness reminds me I have emotions, but the possible depression could be the cause in the first place.

I have been in a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years, but recently I found out that I’m also very attracted to girls. I’m beginning to believe I’m not just heterosexual.

My life dream came true eight months ago, when I started studying Psychology at university. I moved to a new city, leaving my family and my friends behind, but my roommates made me feel like home very soon. I kinda fell in love with one of them. He is a huge pot smoker, and I quickly became one as well. I started skipping my classes and staying up all night with him, watching movies and smoking weed. I broke up with my boyfriend and I had a fight with my best friend when he needed me the most. I failed all my exams, although I used to be an A+ student. My classmates turned their back on me and I felt completely alone at the faculty. I tried my best since then, but I’ve lost all my self confidence. Finals are starting in one week and I’m sure I’m gonna fail again, and I will be a disappointment to my parents and my friends. I’m ruining my life and my dream. I’m lost and scared, and I feel like there’s nothing I can do about it.

I need love.

I miss my ex but all we had was a physical relationship. Now, all I want is for someone to stroke my hair as we watch movies. I want something real, but I’m not sure he wants to be that for me. The thing is, I don’t think I want anyone but him. I love him. I think I do, but I don’t think he loves me. Why is this so hard?

The fact that my partner watches porn makes me very self conscious and it makes me feel very unworthy and unsexy. I feel guilty because almost everyone watches it and who am I to say he can’t? We’ve talked about it and nothing he says makes me feel any better. When I know he’s watching it, or has watched it, I feel very sad and lonely. I know it’s only physical and he loves me and thinks i’m beautiful but he doesn’t seem to be seeing how much it’s affecting my confidence and body image. Especially since I found out he looks at specific porn stars. I can’t stop comparing myself to them. Is it impossible to masturbate without watching pornhub? 

I wish that there was an alternate universe where porn didn’t matter and It was acceptable for me to say to him that I wish he’d stop watching it because its making me feel really very sad and horrible. I feel like such a bitch for just thinking about asking him to stop and I don’t think I ever could. But I feel as though he cares more about watching porn than how it’s been making me feel. 

I’m sorry, I have to vent. I have a history test tomorrow - well, technically today, it’s 3AM here - and I haven’t even opened a textbook. It’s the only class that I don’t give half a fuck about, I’m barely passing it anyway, I’d be failing if it wasn’t for some group project. I don’t like or understand this crap. Why should I care about a bunch of fuckwads and their wars if I can use that time and energy to learn biology - something that I will actually benefit from in the future?

I’m the biggest hypocrite in the world.. Me and my boyfriend are on a weird sort of break where were trying to be friends but were still fooling around.. I told my boyfriend I was going to meet with this guy to talk about getting a job, but really I went to his house and had a threesome with him and one other guy… That night I went to back my boyfriends and denied everything. I feel so horrible.. but part of me wants to do it again… am i a devil or am i just human..

Two years ago, when I was 16, my best friend gave oral to the boyfriend of my other best friend, and then blackmailed me into keeping quiet about it. I felt so guilty, and slowly but surely over a few months pretty much everyone in my friendship group knew what had happened, but nobody had told the girl whose boyfriend had cheated on her - they were still together. I felt so guilty and told my friends that I had to tell her, because I couldn’t look her in the eye anymore. They started bullying me, taking photos of my face and photoshopping them, prank calling me, hacking my social media accounts - and eventually I realised that we weren’t friends anymore. I’ve been bitter about it for a long, long time and although the girl eventually found out after they’d broken up, I still feel so guilty. I lost my best friend of 12 years because she had a fling with our friend’s boyfriend, and it makes me so sad still.

I was sexually assaulted today, not full rape or anything, and i couldn’t stop it. all i could do was freeze and hope for it to end. i couldn’t even say now. i told my boyfriend and now we’re fighting because he wants me to report it but i can’t. what good would it do? I just want it to go away. he says he might leave me because i won’t report it. i feel really hollow.

I am in a relationship with someone, but lately, I have been falling harder and harder for someone else who shares mutual feelings. We have been talking, sometimes not exactly SFW, and really can’t wait to meet each other in a few months. I know what I’m doing is wrong, but I’m not sure if the person I’m with now could handle me leaving them or handle life on their own; I have been supporting us the last year. But this new person makes me happy… and I don’t know what to do. It’s killing me.